Tag Archives: inspirational

Weightless


This is me today.  I am choosing to continue moving forward.  I am continuing to face and let go of my emotional baggage.  It is like having a moment of weightlessness, this whole “touchy feely therapy” stuff.  It seems like the more fears I face, which are very, very difficult, the more weightless I feel.

I have begun having conversations with people to discuss things that I have always been so afraid to just say.  I know it sounds easy, but it is not easy for me.  I may seem social, but when it comes to confrontation, even mild, I tend to shy away and internalize what I want to say or what I feel.  “Stifle yourself,” Archie Bunker would say.  Well, that is one way of dealing with stress.

All that seems to ever get me is so anxious (i.e. emotionally constipated) and overwhelmed at NOT facing the confrontation.

Of course, this new life changing way of thought has played a toll on me.  Evidently, I am an emotional eater (I suppose I have always lived in denial).  It seems like the more of this crap I have faced, the more I have relied on food to comfort me during the process.  However many pounds I have but back on (fluctuates between 10-18 pounds) are haunting me and making me feel like a failure.  I am realizing now the patterns involved in why I am eating, and I believe there is a more to learn.

Point is, this is a good song.  And I need to remember to forgive my own mistakes, and move forward.

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Glorious afternoon


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I spent the day at the hospital, in an attempt to have my kidney stone removed…but as soon as they put me under anesthesia, I had an asthma attack and stopped breathing.  So, no surgery for me today.

Instead, I am laying in bed, with the window open.  It’s about 63 degrees, birds are competing to sing.  The occasional airplane flies by, followed by the caws of some crows.

I realized just how relaxing this is!  I notice the sheer curtains blowing in rhythm with the wind.  In and out.  I can remember in my early childhood, spending summers in Betterton, on the eastern shore of md.  In the morning, I would wake up and the lace curtains were always blowing.  The cool morning breeze reminded you just how delightful summer could be.  They are some of the best memories of my life.

And yes, my bedroom walls are pale pink.  That is a result of the divorce.  It was one of the first things I did…i wanted a girly room, that made me feel hopelessly and guiltlessly feminine.  Btw, it works…i recommend a bedroom makeover for anyone going through a major life change.  It has always been a way that I could bring a little joy and comfort into my stressful existence.

I am going back to listening to the leaves rustling on the trees.  Enjoy yourself tonight!