Category Archives: Suggestions

Train Yourself to Seek Opportunity


Sometimes an opportunity doesn’t seem like much…until you make something of it. ~Sunshine E. Monk

It is so easy to fall into a rut and claim that there are no opportunities.  When in fact, there are times in life when we need to think outside of the box and seek our own opportunities.  (After all, in life, nobody is holding us back but ourselves, right?)  You might think it is hard, but in reality, it just takes a little time and attention.In one of the sessions I attended during a Women’s Wellness Retreat a few years ago, the instructor likened finding pennies on the ground to seeking your own opportunities.  Her story (filtered through my memory) went something like this:

Most of the time when we are walking through public places, and even at home, we unconsciously step over and ignore pennies.  We do it without notice.  Most of the time, if a penny on the ground is actually noticed, we think to ourselves, “oh, its only a penny, not worth the time or effort to pick it up.”  But in reality, if you start to teach yourself to seek out spare change on the ground, you would be surprised how much more you notice.  And after a period of time, say a year, you will notice how many coins or pieces of money you have found on the ground, simply by being open to seeking it out.

Similarly, we pass over so many opportunities each day.  It might be an opportunity as simple as a conversation with someone to encourage them, or as complex as creating a way for your dreams to come true or creating career opportunities.

I have noticed, however, that we keep our eyes closed to the opportunities and keep focused on the task at hand.  Sometimes we might even brush off our instinct for an idea or opportunity because it sounds “over the top” or crazy.  Some of the most profound inventions came from ideas that were over the top.  Apple has reinvented itself with ideas that were over the top.  In our own lives, we need to be aware of our own ideas and opportunities, even if they sound like they are over the top.  Your dreams might not be as unaccessible as you think.

Be open to other people and be open to opportunities that may present themselves, no matter how big or small they might seem.  Live in the opportunities and learn from them.  When we seek them out, we will notice them more.

If you don’t believe me, try it yourself.  Start trying to pay attention to the ground for loose pennies or change.  The first month, you might not even find a cent.  But you will see, the more you try to be aware of the opportunities to seek lost change, the more times you will actually find and notice pennies…and opportunities.

How much can you find over a year?  I will await your responses next year!  🙂  I will report my own seized opportunities through the next year.  Challenge?

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Depression


Should I actually admit it? To my family? To my friends? To my coworkers? To the general public all around the world?

I am depressed. I cannot control it. I am ashamed, and I afraid of being judged.  I don’t want to be thought of as weak.

So, what am I going to do about it? Well, I started by going to my family doctor last week. He has prescribed a lightweight medication to start and recommended regular exercise (also on my transformation list, for other reasons).

I also need to be more openminded about what depression means. I don’t want to be pressured by what John Q. Public “thinks” depression means. I don’t know why depression has the big back cloud over it that it does. BAHAHA  I think we all fall prey to this kind of thing over the span of a lifetime.  I simply don’t want it to consume me…

Now, I have found this really cool website with some helpful resources (http://www.12step.com/articles/12-step-lifestyle/12-step-program-depression). At first glance of http://www.depressedanon.com, it seemed way over what I needed. Then I saw it! A 12-step plan for depression? Who knew, right?! I think I might check this out.

Focus on me…I’m worth it!


One step…a very important step…of my transformation is to focus on me.  Sounds simple enough, maybe even greedy.

Let me tell you a quick little story about a girl.  When she was 15, she fell deeply and madly in love with an adorable cuban boy from brooklyn.  He fell in love with her too.  Their love was so pure and honest that it scared the girl away…many times.  But living without him was unbearable, and the girl would be brave and go back to him begging for his love.  Undeniably, he would take her into his arms once again.

This went on for years, until they stopped returning each others calls.

Lets just say that I can relate to this girls life…except for the parts that sound really pitiful.

I have been talking to him again through facebook for about four years now, and recently might have had a deja-rendez-vous (you’ll have to buy the book for those deets!  haha)

Realize this, he lives 900 miles away and is not in a position to begin a relationship.  We have had some amazing discussions and he has been there for me – to pull me off the proverbial windowledge a few times.  I never realized before how well he knows me.  He has been a wonderful blessing as a friend.  But anything more than that is not possible right now and I am finding myself upset over that.  But not for the right reasons. 

In the shower this morning, I was thinking about how I felt about the entire situation between him and me.  It seems like his feelings for me fluctuate like the tides.  One day he is all twitterpated, and the next day he is…just him.  His freaking responses are so up and down.  Then, it hit me.  I realized I have been “reading into” every conversation.  He is the one who has been consistent.  I am the one who has been off her rocker!  It is so intensely self-centered, isn’t it?  Truely, I don’t “need” him.  I don’t need anyone but God and myself.  Relationships can never be based on that kind of need, because it is not healthy. It is not fair to him, and it certainly won’t get me anywhere but ultimately heartbroken. 

So, I am forced to open my eyes once again to the reality of the situation…

My point is this…realistically speaking…I have nothing to offer anyone right now.  I am a mess, and I don’t particularly like myself very much.

I think this is where a lot of people might head for a rebound relationship our some sort of emotionally supportive relationship.  I feel like I can’t live without him.  I feel like I can’t breathe without him…I glow just to heart his voice.  He knows me better than any other man I’ve ever known.  While all of this might be true on some level, and a relationship might be inevitable…or hell, it could be poppycock.  Either way, it is not what is best for me right now. 

Right now, I need to put all of my energy and hopes into myself.  Right now, I figure that if I pour all of my energy into him and loving him, and forming a relationship with him, I will never fully be able to find myself and move forward in a positive way.  I have spent so, so, so many years trying to be what everyone else wanted me to be…perhaps because I was so afraid of just being myself.  In fact, I now believe that I would intentionally pour myself into those around to AVOID being myself.  How crazy is that?!  Now, don’t get me wrong, he is an amazing friend and I will always love him dearly…but…

I think I deserve some of my love and attention.  I am worth it.  Right now, I have to be more important than others in my life (with the exception of my 9-year old son!!!).   

I have all of these dreams for my future.  I want to have a foster care group home one day, where I can help kids to transition into living on their own successfully after foster care.  I want to write a book (or 10?) and get published…in a way that helps others.  I feel like God has an immense plan for me.  I know I am not there right now.  And I know that everything I am going through, all experience that I gain, all tribulations that I overcome are all for the purpose of God’s plan for me. 

But I strongly feel that God is calling me to work on myself.  I cannot help anyone else properly, if I can’t even help myself, right?  If God thinks I deserve it, perhaps I should too…

Now I just have to remember that I feel this way the next time I get caught up in the emotion!

Before you can lose weight, you have to understand the HOW and the WHY


OK, a month into this, and I have reached my first 20 pound goal. I am very happy with that. I am gunning forward, but I still have the needling in the back of my head that I have yet to address the true issue. The HOW of how I became overweight. Firstly, I always have been…well, since about 4th grade.

Part of the HOW is medical and attached to the Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. However, the greater portion of the HOW is buried deep within these layers of me (no pun intended).

Three different times in the past, I have lost between 45-70 pounds, only to gain it back within a year or two. No, it is not that the diets or exercise don’t work…it was that I didn’t work.

At the first sign of stress or emotional turmoil, I would “make myself feel better” with food, or “zone out” in front of the TV. The combination of the two is a sure fire way to ruin such a wonderful accomplishment.

I have found that it is easy when your head is in the game…when the weight is beginning to come off and you are fitting into clothes that have only haunted the deepest darkest corners of your closet. Right now, I am on fire! I have felt this way before. I can remember an instance after losing about 50 pounds, when I said, “I cannot go back to the way I was. I just won’t let it happen.” Not only did I “let it happen” but I added another 15 pounds to it!

See, it is easy to have the “gung-ho” attitude when things are going well, but it is quite the different story when you are facing marital issues, health issues, or just plain everyday sadness/boredom/lackluster.  It is easy to lose focus when your purpose is no longer in sight.

Which leads me to the WHY. WHYdo I want to lose weight. I know that I need to be inline with the WHY, because that forms the purpose. The purpose is truly what motivates us. Without a clear cut purpose, we lose focus. I can’t afford to lose focus…

I would like to share this article about motivation and WHY. Of course, their WHY pertains to WHY you want to lose weight: http://www.peertrainer.com/diet/how_to_get_the_motivation_to_lose_weight.htm

Affirmations


affirmationsFormerly, I believed affirmations and all of that “positive-thinking gobbeldy-gook” was very “hippie” and goofy.  However, I have begun using daily affirmations to help keep my attitude positive and up-lifting, and I must say…I think it is working.

So, to lend support to my friends, I have created a little positive affirmations poster that you can download and print.  Enjoy. 

Click here to download Affirmations Poster in .pdf format

Girl Power


About three weeks into this exercise thing, I realized I needed a good pair of workout/walking shoes.  So, on my way to visit Mommy, I stopped at the Queenstown Outlets and went into Easy Spirit.

Being a Saturday morning, it was busy, but the lady came right over to me to help.  I told her I needed a good pair of walking shoes.  She said, “I know just what you want” and led me to a pair of shiny white sneakers.  She told me they were the best.  She found my size, along with two other sets of sneakers “just in case.”

Let me tell you…I put these shoes on, and WOW!  They felt like moon boots!  They were anti-gravity moon boots!  (Seriously, I later saw a tag on the shoes, advertising that they are “anti-gravity”).  It was delightful.  I didn’t even try on any of the other shoes.   

When I used them for the first time, I saw the name of them, “Girl Power.”  Oh yeah!  Bring on the treadmill!!!

$59.99 and a few workouts later, I am pleased as punch (carb-free punch, of course).  I highly recommend these shoes!

http://www.easyspirit.com/on/demandware.store/Sites-easyspirit-Site/default/Search-Show?SearchSource=Simple+Search&q=girlpower