Weightless


This is me today.  I am choosing to continue moving forward.  I am continuing to face and let go of my emotional baggage.  It is like having a moment of weightlessness, this whole “touchy feely therapy” stuff.  It seems like the more fears I face, which are very, very difficult, the more weightless I feel.

I have begun having conversations with people to discuss things that I have always been so afraid to just say.  I know it sounds easy, but it is not easy for me.  I may seem social, but when it comes to confrontation, even mild, I tend to shy away and internalize what I want to say or what I feel.  “Stifle yourself,” Archie Bunker would say.  Well, that is one way of dealing with stress.

All that seems to ever get me is so anxious (i.e. emotionally constipated) and overwhelmed at NOT facing the confrontation.

Of course, this new life changing way of thought has played a toll on me.  Evidently, I am an emotional eater (I suppose I have always lived in denial).  It seems like the more of this crap I have faced, the more I have relied on food to comfort me during the process.  However many pounds I have but back on (fluctuates between 10-18 pounds) are haunting me and making me feel like a failure.  I am realizing now the patterns involved in why I am eating, and I believe there is a more to learn.

Point is, this is a good song.  And I need to remember to forgive my own mistakes, and move forward.

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