Wow. I survived. By the sweet grace of God, I survived Thursday night. I cannot even begin to explain.
I know that I woke up on Friday morning still grumpy, bags under my eyes, hating life in general. I felt as if I had survived an exorcism. I had just faced my life’s issues…my demons, if you will. All of the parts of me that hide away, as well as how my decisions do effect and have effected my family, everyone around me, and myself. How I truly feel like I had let everyone down. Then couple that with a family counseling class that has forced me to look at my family on paper and notice patterns and blah blah blah.
Point is…I came to direct terms with the very real fact: I am broken. We all are. We are all victims of the behaviors of others, and we all take turns victimizing one another, whether we know it or not. It is human nature. It is inevitable.
God had given me all of these miraculous blessings in my life and I had hurt them all and was not as grateful as I could have been. I took a lot of true blessings for granted. I felt such shame and unworthiness.
Then, this song played…
The words spoke everything I was thinking and feeling. The overwhelming sense of peace began to bring reassurance and comfort, love and protection. All of my human fears vanished and once again I felt the truest of truth, I felt God within my soul. I knew we would be okay if I just stayed focused on His guidance. When I am weak, He will give me strength.
Not only did the blessings continue to pour down on us, but the awareness of God’s great and abundant love became ever so clear again. I had been missing that sense of fullness and faith.
Yes, Uncle T., I heard your message, Let go and Let God. It is easier said than done, AND it is necessary. When you turn your life over to God and allow Him to work through you, He will provide for you.
It is simply amazing.