My “day job” is as a Project Coordinator for the Vocation and Formation Offices at a local convent. Which, in case you are taking notes, makes me a divorced Baptist Monk who recruits Catholic Nuns. And yes, my wonderful Sisters love making fun of my name. I digress…
The other day, I began to work with a volunteer. The young girl, fresh out of high school, is also not Catholic. In fact, she doesn’t boast any religion in general…her words.
The more she walked around our offices at the Provincial House, the more she seemed to soften in awe and wonder.
After day two of volunteering, my newfound friend had time to walk the grounds by herself and meet the people. She had visited the Peace Garden. She had some time to ponder…
Somehow, whatever topic we were discussing just rambled. Until. She said the sweetest, most heart melting words.
“I wish I had that thing inside that people have when they know who God is and, like believe in Him for real. I mean, that is like a really cool thing to me.”
I didn’t know how to respond at the time. And quite frankly, I don’t even remember how I actually DID respond. All I remember is how her words hung in the air like music. So innocent.
I know, um, hello? McFly? That was my chance. But for some reason, I didn’t even think to witness to her. The thought seriously never crossed my mind at the time. I was literally enchanted. (I know, it sounds goofy). Come to think of it, maybe it would have been too much for her if I had started talking about God at that time. Obviously, I wasn’t ready either. Timing was not right?
I have never been one to pro-actively witness to folks. I have never felt comfortable being pushy, or even talking as though “I know” all the answers. I guess in some ways, I don’t feel worthy a teacher to share of God’s love, because I don’t know all there is to know, and I cannot explain that which is unexplainable. I have always had an internal struggle about how I do not witness like the Bible says I should.
I stop in my thoughts…
I do know how to live in and give God’s love and light. I do know the gifts and blessings in my life, and I know that God is a part of my very being, in each of us. God is in our faces and in our hearts and souls. He created us in His image. And we are to try and live our lives in His love. THIS is the only way I know to witness. Just being who I deep down feel like I am meant to be. I mean, sure, I am human and I am known for some pretty epic failures, but at least I am trying.
This “flat out talking to someone” about God is a bit intimidating. I guess I will just say a prayer and put it all in His hands.
Dear God, my Father, please give me the words to speak to gently nurture a basic understanding of her own spirituality and You within her soul. When the time comes, please God, help me to have the nerve to approach and talk with her. To be caring, but not pushy. Lord, hold my tongue so that my babble does not overwhelm or confuse. Lord, I also pray that you give me the peace within my own heart that I will not seek validation or response…that I will be focused on being myself: a loving, caring person. I will pray again to You beforehand to turn over to You, God, my body and mind.