The rippling effect of failure #1 has lasted about 12 days, and cost a total of about 5 pounds. UGH! So frustrating. I had the perfect opportunity to workout extra last week, while the kid was with grandma, but I didn’t do it. In fact, I only worked out ONE day (granted, it was for 2 hours, but still only counts as once).
So, this week, as I forced myself into the fitness room at the end of the day, I was able to catch the last half of Oprah on TV. She was interviewing this man named Michael (from Brooklyn) who weighed over 1,100 pounds, then over a span of 19 months, lost 800 of it to bring him to 198 pounds. THEN, over the span of a few years, he put all 800 pounds back on! Now, he has taken about 300-400 of it back off in the span of a few more years.
I listened to Michael talk about when he was heaviest, how he just wanted to live life. Just be normal. Then, I listened to interviews of when he was under 200 pounds, and he was talking about how good it felt, and how he would never go back again. Of course, he did. I have too. I have dropped 70 pounds through blood, sweat and tears, only to gain it back over the span of a year or two. In fact, I have done this three times!
I have several points of interest to this topic.
One, I should not complain, because there are people out there with harder goals than I have. I may not be able to roller skate right now, but I can walk, and live independently – probably things we all take for granted.
Two, as Michael talked about how he had put it all back on…it started with a little cheeseburger celebration for getting below the 200 pound mark. GEEZ! I know how that is, except usually I eat when I feel sad, grumpy, or stressed. And when I am in one of those moods, I tend to pull out the “I don’t care” card. NOT a good thing!
Michael discussed the prospect of having a surgery to help him lose weight…whether it is a band, or a bypass, whatever. I have considered that, myself…but have to agree with Michael on his point of view regarding surgically enhanced weightloss: My disease is not in my stomach. It is in my head. They can put a bandaid on my stomach but it will not help the problem. Until they can find a way to fix the disease in my head, there is no cure. I have to deal with my eating habits in my head.
That is so true. It goes back some to my previous post about knowing the WHY.
So, I am left feeling really scared. I am struggling to stay on the train today…one day at a time, but fear the relapse. I think today would be one of those days when I could use a little extra support and enthusiasm.